The Realities of Newborn Sleep: A Parent's Journey

Navigating the Sleep Struggles

Many conversations that revolve around newborn babies usually mention sleep. We often hear questions like, “Does she sleep well?” or “Are you getting enough rest?” And then there’s the classic advice: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Honestly, how realistic is that? For me, it’s quite difficult!

In the first few weeks, I loved having contact naps all day. It was wonderful when my husband was home on paternity leave. However, once he returned to work, being ‘nap trapped’ became a challenge. I found myself needing drinks, food, or even just time to clean all the bottles before the next feed.

The Transition to Independent Naps

After a few weeks, my baby girl began to sleep in her Moses basket for naps. This allowed me to fold laundry, eat lunch, and tidy up the room. But then came the 8-week vaccinations, and everything changed. I expected her to be clingy for a day or two after the jabs, but that clinginess has stuck around. Now, during the day, she only sleeps on me. It’s been nine days of this, and she won’t sleep on my husband either. Whenever I try to put her down, she wakes up.

At just nine weeks old, she can’t self-settle yet and relies on me to help her fall asleep. At night, she usually falls asleep on me but then transitions to the bassinet after about 20 minutes. Most nights, she sleeps for about five hours at a stretch, with the occasional six or seven-hour night. I can’t really ask for more at her age! Oddly enough, I’ve noticed that the more I sleep, the more tired I feel in the morning. How does that work? I’m grateful for the good nights when they happen, but sometimes we have nights like the one two nights ago, where baby girl didn’t settle until 2:20 AM.

A Night to Remember

The night started well. We had our usual bath time, and I sat in bed with a bottle, ready to rock her to sleep. But first, we had a dirty nappy to deal with. After cleaning her up and putting her back in her sleeping bag, I jokingly said to her, “I’m expecting a good sleep now.” She had all the signs of a good night: a bowel movement, a full bottle, and a relaxing bath. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that, as it turned into a ‘bad’ night.

She fell asleep around 10 PM for just 30 minutes before waking up crying. My husband took her downstairs to try to comfort her while I got some sleep. I dozed off at 11:15 PM but woke again at 11:45 PM to her screams. I got up to check, and my husband was walking around with our daughter. He had fed her, but she still wouldn’t settle. I took her from him, and she instantly calmed down against my chest.

This is a tough stage. Not only is she clingy, but she only wants me to help her sleep. She’ll happily play with her dad and be fed by him, but when it comes to sleep, it’s all on me. That means every nap and nighttime routine falls to me. After another 30 minutes of sleep, she was up again! I lost track of time, but my husband thought a nappy change might help. Unfortunately, it didn’t. We offered her milk, but she wasn’t interested. She was clean, not hungry, and being held, yet she was still very upset.

Understanding Baby's Needs

Around 1:30 AM, I realised she seemed to be in pain. Based on her movements, I suspected it was stomach pain. We gave her Calpol (paracetamol) around 1:50 AM, and by 2:20 AM, she was finally asleep for a few hours. Sadly, my husband and I had to be up at 6:30 AM. He had to work, and I needed to drop him off since I needed the car that day. It was a short night for us, but on the upside, the following night she slept from 10 PM to 3 AM and then again from 4 AM to 8 AM.

Embracing the Chaos

As for the idea of “sleep when the baby sleeps”? That’s only possible at night. During the day, if she’s asleep and not on me, I need to grab a drink, use the bathroom, or tackle laundry. All that fun stuff! But you know what? I’m okay with that. I know I’ll miss these days when she’s older. There will be plenty of time in the future for her to sleep independently, and the housework can wait. For now, I want to soak in those baby snuggles.

Until next time,

Chloe x